my sister got me vodka omg ily sis

posted 3 days ago

lolinondodatt:

obeyaqsaa:

i couldnt scroll past this i had to reblog

I really tried to scroll past it


gamegeneral:

krystal-cage:

please just watch this

"It’s one second." I said
"It can’t possibly be that great."
I was wrong.

#lol

lazar3tto:

mylesperhour:

I still can’t get over this

im in love


brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world


mommy:

During sex I suddenly stopped and didn’t move he was like “what are you doing?” and I was like ” hush, I saw this on pornhub it’s called buffering.”


Professional correctional officer John Bennett


  • me 2 my child: you were named after the two bravest men i ever knew.... Max Nev